Sometimes, I find the present just fades away and becomes background noise. This is when the past – with its bank of memories – takes over, and I find myself as if watching a documentary, complete with images, movement and the pulse of life. Certain triggers raid my mind and take me from my present life to a long-distant past in such a way that I can see and relive it in detail, and even move between its different scenes.
But those scenes and details are not always pleasant, for some still bring sorrow, and these are the ones whose existence I try hard to forget. And though I might sometimes succeed, their influences remain in every cell of my body, and they leave me overwhelmed with anguish and pain.
Is it my nostalgia for the past that keeps taking me back to those ‘stations’ of my life?
Some of the stops on my journey are too hazy to attract my attention, and I hurriedly pass them by. Others are so vivid and clear that I prefer to linger there, press rewind, and play again.